Sunday, September 19, 2010

Freak of the Week: Round 2

This week's Freak of the Week is a paperclip that I received on a packet of papers from my insurance company.  Now, before I continue, I need to make a clarification: yes, the Freak of the Week CAN be an inanimate object.  As you can see in the picture above, this wasn't just any was shaped like a FOOT.  In order for you to understand why this paperclip was not only an instant freak in my book, but also one of the most outrageous things I've ever seen, you need to know a crucial fact about me: feet are my biggest fear/pet peeve/whatever you want to call it.  Bottom line: they are gross and I hate them.  If anyone's foot gets near me, I automatically's a reflex.  Shoes are my favorite fashion item (I'm obsessed) and I'm beginning to think it's because shoes cover up these filthy extremities.  So you can imagine my disgust and utter shock when, in an attempt to flip through the pages easily, I removed the paperclip from the packet only to discover that it was a FOOT.  WHY did I receive THIS?!

First of all, paper clips do NOT need to be spiced up.  Trust me, receiving a themed paperclip will not brighten my day in any way, nor will receiving a plain, silver paperclip send me into a frenzy.  Whose bright idea was this?  Body-part paperclips?  Was this some "cute" ploy to get me to remain with this insurance company, since they do, after all, provide medical insurance?  If so, it most definitely did NOT work.  How am I supposed to take this company seriously when it looks like the Jolly Green Giant's miniature counterpart stepped on my papers?  I would have preferred a paperclip shaped like a kidney.

However, this paperclip is tricksy and is obviously trying really hard to suck me in.  It's green, which is my favorite color.  I see this as some sort of bribe.  It is not going to fool me into thinking that it's aesthetically pleasing.  As if its color is enough to completely distract me from its shape!

This paperclip may be just as big of a freak in the realm of paperclips as it is in my world.  I have NEVER seen a themed paperclip, which leads me to believe that this may be the ONLY themed paperclip on the PLANET.  Even if there are other themed paperclips out there, or, more specifically, other foot paperclips (I don't even want to fathom it), this paperclip is STILL a freak.  It seems to me that the last two toes are kind of lumped together, creating a uni-toe of sorts.  What an unfortunate design flaw.

Have you encountered any inanimate object freakz this week??


baaconnn said...

yes. i do everyday... her name is kayla

Fickle Cattle said...

Hahaha. I like the foot shaped paperclip. Maybe you can send it over to me. :-)

I am Fickle Cattle.

Ixy said...

I've never understood the appeal of pedicures for this very reason! It doesn't sound at all relaxing to sit there for a half hour while someone fondles my flat, aerobics-callused feet.