I was an only child for 13 short and peaceful years...and then my mom had my little sister, Tela. All jokes aside, Tela is pretty much the most awesome kid I know. She's absolutely hysterical and keeps me and my family cracking up. As a self-proclaimed theatre lover, she has already been in several plays and she's the star of them all (I'm not biased or anything). She even just got her first email address, and proudly and appropriately picked dramatween9 as her screen name hahaha. Trust me, she is Little Miss Drama on and off the stage. Her outgoing nature is great, but doesn't bode so well for me. She's always trying to play jokes on me or embarrass me because, according to her (and this is a direct quote), it's "her job." And I don't need any help in this department, because I already embarrass myself enough. Nevertheless, Tela has performed her "job" so well that she should be named Employee Of The Month...or Employee of the Past 4 Years. Seriously, to whoever's funding: this girl needs a raise.
Let me give you all a little preview. She HATES it when I'm not paying attention to her. AKA: if I'm on the phone or online chatting with friends. So she does everything in her power to end my conversations or prevent them from even happening. Once, when my friend Kristen called me and I was in the shower, Tela feverishly searched through my purse until she found my cell phone, and answered it. "I'm sorry, Desi can't come to the phone right now because she's in the shower shaving her back hair." (Disclaimer: I DO NOT, nor have I EVER HAD back hair. Let's get that straight right now.) If I hadn't have been best friends with Kristen since First Grade, this may have been more embarrassing.
So, one of these instances happened last night when Tela and I were at Mill Mountain Coffee. I had just picked her up from drama class (of course) and we were grabbing some food before heading home. A flier for sexy-back panties (as seen below) was conveniently sitting next to me at our table. I was blissfully unaware that it was there and, in hindsight (pun intended), it probably looked like it belonged to me.
Tela, however, had apparently noticed it sitting there and decided not to mention it to me. Instead, she waited until the guy who worked there came over to deliver our food to say anything. At this point, she waved the flier in my face screaming "I'm so glad you decided to try these panties Des, you really need them!" He gave me a weird look. I DIED. And in case you were wondering, yes, it does indeed say at the bottom of the flier that if you host a sexy-back panties party, you get a pair for free. You know, like a Tupperware or a Pampered Chef Party, except with butt-enhancing, cellulose-curing panties.
Tela is starting karate lessons next week and has secretly confessed "I can't wait to use these moves on my sister!" I think I'm going to plan ahead and buy myself one of these:
|(credit to Sophie's Space for this found picture)|